Immediately upon graduating college I was unknowingly thrust into the world of singles. All of a sudden the question of whether I was dating anyone seemed to be on the forefront of everyone’s mind. I was frequently asked about “my unique perspective as a single” which I didn’t really know I had until it was pointed out to me.
On this journey with the gift that
no one wants keeps on giving, I’ve had some wonderful people who have honestly helped my post-grad transition as a person. Here’s what they’ve done well:
- They treated me as a person first, not just a single.
- They pushed me towards Christ in all areas of my life.
- They let me share my pain, fears, and joys.
- They shared honestly about the fun, difficulties, and struggles of marriage.
- They upheld the value of marriage.
- They upheld the value of singleness.
- They opened their entire life up for me to see, including marriage and sex.
Now here are some things they didn’t do:
- They didn’t ask me “Why aren’t you married?” or say “I’m so surprised you’re not dating anyone!”
- They didn’t tell me “As soon as you stop wanting a husband then you’ll get one.”
- They didn’t act like sex was a dirty word.
- They didn’t tell me to “guard my heart.”
- They didn’t make me feel like my life was on hold waiting for the one.
- They didn’t pretend like I had tons of free time or assume that I could drop everything because “I’m a single and don’t have any commitments.”
- They didn’t act like I should be miserable because I’m single; they weren’t surprised when I was genuinely content with my life.
I am honored to have so many people who have shared their wisdom with me. I’m also thankful that I have the opportunity to speak on behalf of so many people who may not have a voice. That being said, if you know of any tall, dark, handsome, Jesus-loving men be sure to send them my way!
So what about you other single ladies, how has the gift treated you?