To the Girl Who’s Never Been Kissed…

I'm the good looking diva on the far left.

I’m the good looking diva on the far left.

Dear Friend,

I’m writing to you because we share something in common – neither one of us has ever been kissed, but don’t tell anyone, OK? 😉

You’re probably wondering how you got here. You’re 15 and freaking out because there is obviously something wrong with you (there’s not). All of your friends have already kissed – and some have done more – and you awkwardly avoid eye contact during “Never Have I Ever…”

You’re 20 and most days you think you’re normal until you realize you’re halfway through college and you still haven’t kissed anyone. Some of your friends are talking about engagements (especially if you’re in the Southern United States) and you’re just enjoying life where you are. Should you be freaking out???

You’re 25 and your friends are having babies, oh the babies! You’ve moved from wedding showers to baby showers with nary a first kiss. You know all about stretch marks, epidurals, and bumby seats.

Be encouraged, dear friend, you are not alone! Before we go any farther, I want you to know this is not a just-wait-your-first-kiss-will-be-worth-it post; mostly because I don’t know. But this is a post to encourage you, because I’m still waiting, just like you.

I do know it is worth it, though. What is this “it,” you ask? Life. And more specifically, your purpose in life. I don’t know you or your situation, but I know you’re worth more than a sloppy teenage kiss or a drunken frat kiss. I know decisions made in desperation rarely lead to happy endings.

On a good day you are confident, sure of your decision, and not going to take crap from anyone. But then, there are those days when you question your decision, your self, and if someone will ever love you like that.

On those days, we have to remind ourselves that we are created in the image of God. You bear a sacred mark of the divine in every part of your body, lips included. Your life has more meaning than marriage, kids, work, and school. Even if you never walked, talked, kissed, or laughed again you are loved and you have value. Your friend – the one who was in the car accident, who is now paralyzed and will never walk again – has just as much value and worth as you because you are both image bearers. You already know this, but sometimes it helps to be reminded. You are more than the functions of your body, more than the sum of your actions, more than your physical contributions to society.

You are more than the functions of your body, more than the sum of your actions, more than your physical contributions to society.

So take heart! Life rarely turns out like we expect it, but that’s the beautiful part. The pain, the scars, the disappointment, the unexpected happy endings all remind us we are not in control. I hope this brings you comfort. You don’t have to fret, scheme, worry about life because there is a holy, powerful, gentle, kind, and just God working for His glory, which means your benefit – even in pain and disappointment.

I hope you have your first kiss and I hope it’s worth the wait. I hope you know the deep rest and satisfaction of being known and still loved. More importantly though, I hope you find satisfaction, first and always, in knowing you are already known and loved.

I hope your time of waiting is worth it.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “To the Girl Who’s Never Been Kissed…

  1. Hi there Taylor! I started following your blog back when you wrote a post in response to a list of “20 things to do in your 20s instead of getting married” or something like that. I don’t remember the exact title, but that post really struck a chord with me as a 20-year-old who’s kind of stumbling through college trying to figure out what to do with myself. And I’ve enjoyed reading all of your posts since then, but this one has been far and away the most meaningful one yet (for me). Because I’m that girl.
    The last three paragraphs really are just wonderful – full of hope of love yet to come, while reminding me of the greatest love that I already have. I know that even if I were to die, unlikely as it is, without having fallen in love, then my time of waiting would still be worth it, because as amazing and lovely as relationships in this life can be, meeting my Savior will be even better. Thank you so much.
    In Christ,
    Rebecca

    • Rebecca, Thank you so much for your kind words. I was inspired to write this post after several conversations with friends and girls of all ages who were in the same situation. My hope was to bring encouragement as well as teach myself truth because I so often need reminding. Thank you for reading and commenting – you brightened my day!

  2. I stumbled on your blog awhile ago, but haven’t been back to check recently, until today. Thank you for this post. It really resonated with me and reminded me that there are others like me, still waiting. 🙂

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